But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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