LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
