Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
