Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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