and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
