i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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