mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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