When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I think I sprained my soul last night
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
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