4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
