..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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