when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
