And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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