Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
