just come out here and I will go home with you...
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
