Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
