your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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