one might say we're banned from that church
please come you make the beer taste better
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
