Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize