worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
