okay pat passed out under dana's car
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
FUCK WHALES
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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