I feel like abortions should bother me more
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize