but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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