I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Randomize
