how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
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