So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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