Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
