You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
