She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
