I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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