Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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