i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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