Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
