so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
