And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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