my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
