CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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