Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Randomize