just tell him i said nine months
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
