I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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