ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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