that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Watching her eat just hurts me
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
