the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
You ruined the universe
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize