dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
