So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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