This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
