you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize