HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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