I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
