The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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