i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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