he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
