know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
