My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Randomize
