I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Vodka?
Forever.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
