did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
