dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I'm passing your future prison.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
