I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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