Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
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I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
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