After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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