Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize