I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
