You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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