DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize