well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
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