First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
