And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
